Rula you are my big sister and I never got to know you as a brother should. Our relationship was always fragile stemming back to the day I was born due as a result of the awful father who discarded you once I was born. I am so sorry that I never got a chance to say goodbye. I am so sorry that I never showed you any compassion when you were struck down with your awful illness. I am so sorry. I hope you can forgive me and give me a chance to make it up to in the after life.